Fatigue plays an enormous role in almost everybody's sex life these days. I see couples who work 12-hour days who have no sexual dysfunctions at all but who simply never get around to it because they're so exhausted," says sex therapist, A director ofthe Association for Male Sexual Dysfunction in New York City and former president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

Other sex therapists across the country are hearing the same thing. "Among working women, especially women with kids, chronic fatigue is the most common obstacle to a good sex life, the number one complaint," says A psychologist and sex therapist in private practice in Farmington Hills, Michigan.

In fact, about one out of every five Americans who walk into a doctor's office complains of fatigue. Chronic fatigue can have an impact on every area of your life, including sex. When all you long for is sleep, it's hard to get interested in sex (or stay interested) once your head hits the pillow. Doctors say that's because chronic fatigue can interfere with sexual functioning in at least two different ways. It can inhibit your interest in sex (a desire problem), or it can dampen your ability to become aroused once things start getting physical (an arousal problem). Either way, chronic fatigue throws a wet sheet over everything.

If your fatigue is simply a scheduling problem (too much to do, not enough time), consider these modest suggestions. Plan ahead. We all have blue-movie fantasies of wild, reckless, spontaneous sex -sex that "just happens." And sometimes it really does. Other times, though, life gets so overscheduled you may have to put "spontaneous sex" on your calendar for Thursday at 7. Yeah, it does seem awfully unromantic. But if learning to schedule time for sex means you have sex more often, what's so bad about that? Says Dr.: "A good sex life doesn't fall out of heaven. Sometimes you've got to work to make it happen."

Have a morning glory. It's easy to fall into the routine of having sex just before falling asleep at night, but for many people that's the worst possible time. Your love life gets what little energy is left after the day is done, and sometimes there's almost nothing left. But if you think about it, among all the priorities in your life, do you really think love should be last in line? Try [.eversing your priorities for a change, beginning the day with lovemaking instead of ending it that way. If Saturday morning is the only time it's feasible to linger abed, and you've got kids, try having a sitter come early Saturday morning, lock the bedroom door, and don't come out till you're through.

Get back in sync. Sometimes a couple's schedules get so out of sync with each other that they're never in bed, awake and feeling ready for sex at the same time. By the time she's ready for bed at 11, he's already asleep, or vice versa. The only way to stoke up the smoldering fires is to get up earlier, or go to bed later, or in some other way synchronize your watches. (Sometimes out-Df-sync schedules are deliberately arranged that way, to avoid sex or intimacy, Dr. Cotter observes. If that's the case, this could be a very difficult pattern to break. Ifnot, it may be a simpler problem to solve than you think.)
Try a mini-vacation. If you find that your interest in sex returns while you're on vacation, it could very well be that fatigue and stress are at the root of the problem. Obviously, you can't jet off to Barbados every time you feel like making love. But consider the concept ofthe mini-vacation -little 18- to 24-hour chunks of paradise slipped into your schedule throughout the year. Just checking into a local hotel overnight (especially one with lavish room service) can give your sex life a real boost.