Whose 1983 best-seller Out a/the Shadows drew attention to the problem, says sex addicts usually have a recognizable psychological profile. For one thing, the vast majority are men - they outnumber women four to one, in fact. More than 80 percent have some other kind of addiction - to the bottle, to gambling, to drugs ("Cocaine is the drug of choice for sex addicts," says Dr.). They generally suffer from low self-.e>teem. And they almost invariably report having been abused as children. Sex addiction, in fact, may be one of the many long-range consequences of child abuse-tragedy on a slow fuse. Abused kids not only come to feel worthless, they also come to think humiliation and shame are a part of normal sexual expression.

How many sex addicts are there? Dr. estimates there may be as many as 7 to 14 million in the United States alone-3 to 6 percent of the population. The most common form of addict, he says, is the person who flits from affair to affair and may occasionally visit prostitutes, porn shops or blue movies. Although he or she feels ashamed and is secretive about such behavior, it continues even despite efforts to stop. "Second level" addicts are those whose behavior has escalated into things that could get them arrested and often involves a victim exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls. At its most extreme level, sex addiction can turn into the most heinous of crimes, like rape, incest or child molestation.

How can you tell if your sexual urges have started to run out of control? Dr.
Carnes suggests that you consider the following factors. If most of your answers to the pertinent questions are yes, there may well be an element of unhealthy compulsion in your sexual behavior.

Feelings of despair. After sex, do you have feelings of shame, despair, emptiness? Secrecy. Do you feel a need to keep your sexual behavior a secret? Do you thrive on the thrill of leading a clandestine "double life"?
Abuse. Do you engage in sexual practices that are abusive or exploitative?
Do you have sex with partners who are not completely willing?
Empty relationships. Do you have sex with partners whom you don't really even know-or, worse, whom you don't even like?
Compromised values. Does your sexual behavior consistently violate your ethical values?
So many people have found themselves giving distressing answers to these questions that a nationwide sexual addiction recovery movement has emerged in the United States in recent years. Four major self-help groups, all of them modeled on the 12-step recovery program developed by Alcoholics Anonymous, have come into existence. The goal of these programs, according to one recovering sex addict, is to regain control of your life by "finding your original, authentic sexuality" under the heavy clouds of shame and sickness. But it's not easy. Another ex-addict says recovering from alcoholism is "a walk on the beach" compared with overcoming the shame and degradation of sex addiction. Still, if you've got a problem: a self-help group may be your best hope.